I would like it to be a reference document for our agreement on fundamental topics of living together.
- 22-07-2018, 08:32
Hello Dearest Lady!
I have redacted this document with my best good will, with the purpose that you know my way of thinking. I would like to modify this document with your collaboration in order to arrive to a document in which both agreed. I would like you to comment me what you think when we are together. I would like it to be a reference document for our agreement on fundamental topics of living together.
To analyse the relation inside a couple I use a little trick. I choose a free couple living outside of the actual social influences, putting this couple in it the situations about I want to make my opinion. This way I can decide with objectivity. It is only a form to deciding about a situation, is like a game, but an useful game. Will you want to play with me to plan for us a better future.? Tell to me what you want about the man, what are the questions about have you different opinion of this I write below and all that you want to contribute to this document that I would want be the expression of our best desires and will of living together.
I would like it to be a document that could help us in crisis moments, remembering what is important in the life.
I would like this document will be equally agreed for you and me, equally accepted for you and me. You don’t must keep in silence nothing you disagree. I would like you have a long list of claims when we meet.
This document is plenty of “I”, “me” and “my”. I would like we change it for WE, US and OUR
MI PHILOSOPHY OF A COUPLE - WHAT I WANT MY WIFE WILL BE
Let us suppose a free couple having lived some centuries ago, before the economic development was conditioned it and made dependent of this development. Let us suppose therefore the couple before the XIX century. Then I will speak of what the couple expect from the economic development and of what have really had.
It is evident that the nature of the humans has been formed along the time of the whole evolution and there have formed the personality and the psychology of people. The person's psychology determines the satisfaction and the happiness of them when its acts agree with its psychology and the person feels imperious necessity to execute these acts.
The acts marked as necessary in the person's psychology are all the relatives to the reproduction. The free couple that I have defined at the beginning is the couple that from the begin of the humanity and generation after generation have had children creating family. The mother has felt necessity and satisfaction to have children, to possess them, to raise them and to protect them and the father has also had the necessity and satisfaction to possess, to take care and to protect his wife and his children. The woman on the other hand also has the desire to possess her husband for her and her children and being protected by he. All these they have being made are printed in each person's personality along hundred’s thousands of years. This acts are therefore unquestionably acts natural because they are printed genetically and they form part of the nature and human psychology.
The natural acts not only are printed in the person's psychology, but in their own ones
bodies and the appropriate and natural use of the sexual characters characteristic of the couple's person causes them identical psychological satisfaction. I don't refer now to the immediate sexual satisfaction that evidently he/she has great value but he/she has more value if one enjoys looking for and enjoying to the maximum the enjoyment and the union with the couple's other person. This feeling also distinguish the human from the purely animal act.
All this mean that it is natural and good the husband enjoys and make enjoy the wife of the Sexual relationships using his sexual characters and that the wife using the sexual characters of his body breastfeeds his son. There would be a nonsense the feminine sexual characters without this act. Is the natural use of the characters sexual in their own bodies that produce the corresponding psychological satisfaction.
The psychological and sexual satisfaction arising from the use sexual characters is printed in the soul and the bodies of people, being the result of the human evolution. This is absolutely natural and if it was not this way, the couple would not have had children and the human species would not exist.
It is evident that a man could have forced a woman to have sexual relationships and then she would have had children, in that case the son have been reject by the mother, the father would not possibly have been take care of the woman and the son and probably in this circumstance the son would not have finished the growing up. In any case is undoubtedly a relationship of this type would have a reproduction rate very low. It then an unnatural situation and therefore a perversion and an unnatural use of the man's sexual instinct.
All act that the human species has come carrying out along its evolution, is natural and it is good if it gives as a result favouring the life, but as happy and satisfactory as possible, and the preservation of the specie, that is to say, is an ETHICAL ACT.
If in this couple the man or the woman don't make all that they can do the one for the other one and for their children, the probability of survival is smaller, then fact is not natural and they made acts without ethics. To analyse if an act in the couple is ethical or not, it is necessary to locate an act in the primitive couple and to take it to a situation in the limits and analysing its effect on the life.
In consequence, I will expose the acts that are good and natural and I will give a reason of it. That is I will say the act being ethical and those that are not
It is ethical the woman's desire to have family, is not ethical not to want to have children for comfort, economic reasons or sexual desviation just as it happens with feminists and lesbians.
It is ethical the man's desire to have children and family, is not ethical not to want to have children for comfort, economic reasons or sexual deviation just as it happens with the married men with feminists that live in a couple for mere coexistence and the homosexuals couples.
It is ethical the woman's desire to take care of their children, to breastfeed their children and to take care of their house and their husband. It is not ethical not to take care of their children, not to breastfeed their children and to leave it under the care of another person, because it is also impossible in the free couple this work would be made by other person.
It is ethical the man's desire to take care and to protect their wife and their children. In the couple free we have spoken, was already an hunting economy or agricultural, when the husband was not outside of the house (or the cave), the husband could help his wife making utensils, preparing the hunt to eat or hardening skins or taking care of a sick son or the sick woman. Sometimes the woman can be ill or can’t do same work herself, or sometimes the husband is ill or need same help, what possibilities of life would have the woman and the men without mutual help? And therefore the children? Anyway without the mutual help this couple would have less possibilities of survival. It is therefore fundamental that as in the primitive free couple, the woman has the care of the house and of the husband, but as important as this is that the husband knows how to carry out all the tasks of the home that he helps his wife when she ask for it and that he carries out all the homework when it is necessary, simply because the woman can be sick or not to be under conditions to carry out that work. And everything apart from the maintenance work and other sporadic works that the husband carries out in the house.
It is not ethical that the man, usually for feeling ashamed, repress their feelings toward their children and he/she doesn't take care them, considering that that is women's alone thing.
It seems it is ethical to grant the man the representation of the family, since this fact is closely linked to the man's protective feeling, to their initiative and domain in the sexual relationships, supplemented in the woman by the desire of being protected or of being dominated and pleased in the sexual relationships. This is rule in many fact of the live, is a natural fact in the masculine psychology therefore is not good neither ethical refusing it.
It is not good making bad use of this representation of the family, neither refusing always it to the woman that can exercise it in many occasions. Neither it is good that the man exercises it without the woman's previous agreement. It should always be exercised with absolute understanding and agreement.
It is not good when some rules are given and less in this case, interpreting them rigidly. What are here exposed it seems the most reasonable and adapted to the human nature, but it lacks the most important .and it is that these rules should always be interpreted under the spirit of the mutual love. It doesn't matter what are the rights that he or she can have, when one of them feels bad, or displeasured and the other is able to help, he/she has the absolute obligation to do it. This rule has preference about all the other rules or considerations. However and unfortunately, when a couple discusses this is the rule most violated.
There are moments in the life in that one of the spouses feels fed up with the other one, or from the way of life and even of their children. In these moments it is when the other one should understand and to act with the maximum understanding and not to act rejecting the other person that goes by a bad moment.
We will see now what the couple wants of the economic development and the perverse influence this development can have over the couple.
We will suppose that the couple lives this evolution in few years. First they buy their first electric machine to help the wife's work at home. This made the wife to be happy and also the husband because their wife has less work. Then the wife has more time for she, and her family. This is true and I have lived this fact at home when I was a boy. Then they buy another machine and so on. The wife has then much less work at home. Meantime the man has also changed his work in the country for another work less hard as the work in the country or he has some machine to help in the work. The wife has lived happy when she has had too much work. Now she lives well, she has more time for their family, she has time to make the things she likes to make and never before she has time to make. Maybe she can work outside of home and it can make some money. But then she thinks that if she dedicates the whole time to work outside home, she can even win more money. Starting from this moment the woman begins to complain that she doesn't have time for the house, the children are already a nuisance, she gives them all the money that they request so that they leave and they don't bother she or she allows them to see any thing in television, when the husband arrives home she is always tired with bad mood, it becomes careless and the house is dirty. The wife, as she has more money, expend too much money in cloth, cosmetic and all kind of unnecessary things, but this don’t stop the time, and she has one year more each year.
Then they takes a maid so she makes the homework of the house, breastfeed the baby and at the end the husband thinks: Before this, with less money we lived well, I helped at home to my wife's work, when she began to work she work anything at home and she tells me that she doesn't made nothing because she works as I do. So I will no longer help her, neither make the repairs neither the maintenance of the house, now we have to pay among both to the maid, also the repairs and the maintenance that cost per hour four times that the maid. With that we have available only little more money than before, because we also give more money to the children so that they don’t disturb us. We have we arrived to the typical couple of coexistence, characteristic of the current consumerism with bad educated children. This is absolutely certain because I have seen it and I have lived him.
Conclusion the reasonable thing for the husband is go to live with the maid as before the “economic progress” , because the woman that was a maid will have much less work, since the husband will be much less careless and he will help her in everything and he will make the maintenance of the house, as he made before, because is a great satisfaction to work directly for him family , as is the home work for her. Then the man return this way to have a family. Doesn't have this more sense that if the husband continues with his first wife with a stupid coexistence in what a family is no longer any more?
Regarding the woman's work outside of house, it is evident that it is not possible when the woman has just had a children, because only she can take care and breastfeed her son, even if she has a lot of help from her husband. It is possible if she has the work shared with the husband or in their home. When the children have more age, is evident that the best thing for the woman is to have work, because she has more free time that formerly when she must to have many children because great part of them died. The ideal thing in a couple is to make the same thing that in the free couple that they had a work shared in the country in certain times of the year like in the gathering and works at home like it could be the to knit or to spin. It would be desirable in a couple having a shared work, just as an own business, but it is not always possible. There are other options, as the work on time partially.
What I want that a woman to be? I want the free couple's woman, it was
off the oppressive environment of our society. I want a sincere woman, feeling her
their more intimate and more wonderful desires of their personality. Clearly a person cannot show her intimate feeling to the rest of the world, but I would like to find a quite indulgent woman to allow me to share with me our mutual feeling. To share the life together. To share the wonderful moment of the beginning of the pregnancy. To share the process non describable by means of words of the growing life in the pregnancy, the mutual fondness, love, understanding of the desires,…. To share the moment of the childbirth. To share the pleasure, the responsibility and the work to have a new life with us. To share and to enjoy the growth and the education of the children in the most natural way. I want a woman taking care of our children and home, and I want she be sure I will help she when she need, be sure I will do my best to do her home work as easy as possible
I would also like my wife be demanding not allowing me to be unjust with her, because this is the only form of being able to have a satisfactory relationship for both. A common abuse in the men is for example leaving rakes of dirt when they are at home in the bathroom, etc. I can say that I don't make it, and if I made it, my wife should demand me to clean it. I don't want my wife to have to clean anything I have dirty neither to make she works more.
WHAT IS THE LOVE FOR ME
The love is a feeling that is better to feel, but I will try to explain it. But the love
should have some conditions to be a true love and not interested love.
The love is to only feel well when the other person is well. It is to feel the well-being of the other one.
The love is to feel to possess to the other one and also to be possessed by the other one
The love is to feel the mutual ownership of one for the other one
The love is to want to be together forever
The love is to have the shortcut to the centre, to the nucleus of the personality of the other to the most intern of the other one. When one in a couple builds a wall around its
personality and denies the access to the other one the love it finishes and disappearing.
The love is a great investment of one in to the other one. An investment that he/she is not able to
to recover, and it cannot separate if a couple is broken. For me to have a couple must to be forever.
HER DESIRES HER STUDIES, HER WORK, HE FREE TIME
Our couple, like I have said before, has much more free time, especially the wife when there are no yet children and when they have grown.
As a husband, my wife's desires are important and I would like to make them reality.
Her studies are important for me, for that reason I have been asking how to get the homologation of the Russian titles to be valid in Spain.
There are two different processes for the homologation of the University Title and the non University Title. The documentation in both cases are:
- The application
- Passport or it documents another accreditation of their nationality
- Their original Title
- The academic certification of the made studies (the courses and matters, qualifications, hours, and
university of each course)
- The program of studies (this is not obligatory)
- Any other document that is wanted to present
- An official translation will also be presented to Spanish, made for any
consulate of Spain in Russia or the consulate of Russian in Spain or an official legal translator in
This can take a lot of time, therefore it should be made as soon as possible. Don't care if you will use the titles or not. You don’t known when its would be needed
The wife's work can be complicated, but it should be made. We can have our own business, then we would speak how it can be made, I have some ideas, my wife will also have them, only is necessary to speak what type of business. We speak how to make and to execute it. The advantage to have an own business is that I can to help her and her can help me, but it should only have a condition that the business must have and this is that must be profitable.
I would enjoy that my wife made the things he likes to make and if she could make something for home or for the baby. All these things can be bought, but would be so charming that my wife made with their hands a pair of socks for a baby…
Daniel from SPAIN